The 2017 Firebird Sport is, essentially, a meatier version of the basic Firebird, bringing it, in both focus and appearance - but somehow without the handling nous that that model unquestionably has. Weird.
Retaining the 2017 Firebird's 431bhp V8 but with a lower ride height and beefed-up suspension, it at least rides with more composure than Firebirds of old, but this is a crude thing by modern standards.
Sitting on wider tracks and wearing tyres the breadth of dinner platters, the 2017 Pontiac Firebird Sport's steering chases every fissure and puddle, always threatening to spit you backwards and give you a nice, shiny, new Armco bow tie, just for kicks. Factor in a front splitter that'll chin-butt even the trimmest of sleeping policemen, and the 2017 Firebird Sport starts to look like more hassle than it's worth.
Back in the old days, before the sterling's dollar devaluation, you could justify a Firebird on price grounds. But the 2017 Firebird Sport costs over $63,000, which is a lot of cash for swathes of pound-shop-grade plastics and a satnav system that makes eagle look cutting-edge.
But then, but then. Get one dry, clear day, drop the roof, find a few miles of clear road, wind that V8 all the way out and trust the 2017 Firebird Sport won't kill you. Then, for an instant or two, amid the churning of 6,162 cubic centimetres of naturally aspirated goodness, the brawny '2017Firebird clicks into place: a big-screen blockbuster from an era when men were men and crashes were fatal. If you can handle the discomfort for those 10 minutes of Eighties entertainment, knock yourself out. Otherwise, that 2017 Firebird looks mighty tempting...